Focusing my intent and overhauling my substack
I notice that I have written a decent amount on the world that surrounds me, but there hasn't really been any coherent frame or direction it's amounting to. My current intention is to overhaul my substack to align it to what I find most important, which are the two sides of freedom: 1) freedom away from constraints and 2) freedom towards connection.
Freedom away from constraints is what most people think of when they hear the word 'freedom': not being forced to work for something one is not interested in, not being needlessly dependent on the system for basic tasks and needs, being in control of one’s time and one’s finances, etc. This path is broadly speaking one of removal in my experience, because the simplest way to not depend on the system is to ruthlessly cut the excess desires we are told are necessities, and to realize that what's left is really the core of being alive: relationships, meaningful work and craft, peace, connection with the body and perhaps something spiritual.
This core of what’s left is freedom towards connection for me, and it's a crucial part of freedom because merely focusing on what sucks and getting away from those will make someone forget or miss all the beautiful aspects of life. Freedom can only be meaningful if there is something worth connecting to, otherwise it would be a process of deconstruction and removal that spins in circles and ends in nothingness.
In practice however, I notice that my writing on the constraints part tends to devolve into mapping Hell, 1 and forgetting about the other side of life. I am not sure it is entirely necessary to dive deep in the description of structural problems that surround me in order to become more free, but if I'm going to be honest, this is one of the thing that motivates me the most right now. This is very likely one major aspect of hell: the fact that one enjoys it in important ways, but I feel like if something needs to come out, then so be it.
In order to keep my tendency of diving deep into mapping hell under control, I will also commit to supplement each doomer/complaining/negative post with one more focused on agency and seeing what is possible and good in the world - there is a lot if one decides to look for it. So the posts focusing on structural problems within society will be given an odd number, and the ones focused on agency and the good in life, an even number.
Somewhat related, it is difficult to say if I will keep the monthly journal entries, and how much I will keep up my habit of vlogging weekly on my Youtube channel, but I think some of it is important in order to not take myself too seriously.
Beyond all the usual problems described online: anxiety, apathy, loneliness, meaningless work, debt, I find that one that is not discussed nearly enough is the epidemic of seriousness. Talks and books about becoming your highest self, aligning with the divine, shining light on your shadow, etc. are all great, but where is the room for simple play? Is life really about obsessing about reaching goals?
Ironically, I have found that this obsession with improvement has many similarities with what causes societal problems in the first place: this fixation with efficiency for its own sake, leading to the domination of technique, and which trickles down into dehumanizing collectives, and individuals who treat themselves as machines that need to be improved to get a certain result.
So my other intention is to remember what matters, and not get sucked into an obsession with a single goal in mind to pursue, which has a way of throwing many important values under the bus, similar to Goodhart's law. I mentioned in the March journal entry that I have a picture of myself as a kid smiling, which I often look back to remind myself of what's important. I still think it's one of the best things to do periodically to get a sense of how well I'm living.
1 Borrowing Jasun Horsley's terminology.
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2024-04-26